31 things: relationship

Boy meets girl.
Boy has crush on girl.
They become best friends.
14 years pass.
She gets married and divorced.
Realises boy is still there.
It’s a classic story.

That’s how Simon described the start of our relationship to a friend when he got back from Sydney in 2009. It sums it up rather well, I think.

Twelve months later, I wrote to Simon:

You are the other half of my heart. You are my soul mate. As you once said, we fit together in every way. Never did I think I could love so deeply and completely. You’ve shown me what love really is. Your patience, loyalty, open heart, honesty (did I mention patience?) and generous spirit. You accept me with my bipolar and I know it scares you but you are still here. You won my family over with that. It took me awhile but you got the complete me, not the shell I was. This is meant to be.

The future looks bright. Very bright in fact. I’m so excited with you moving to Brisbane and only being 2 hours away! I’m very excited that some time next year we’ll make a home together. I know we’ll have our ups and downs but I trust you so completely that I know we’ll be okay. You have my back, you’ll catch me when I fall. And I’ll do the same for you.

We’re into our third year as a couple and all of those words are as true today as they were when we wrote them. I recently wrote these words:

I remember saying to my ex-husband the day I left that relationships shouldn’t be as hard as what we had. I didn’t know if I’d find what I believed a relationship should be – lord knows I hadn’t experienced anything like what I thought a relationship should be up to that point. I spent two years recovering, of having a few flings to test the waters and see if anyone actually found me desirable, interesting or relationship worthy. When I went to Sydney for Tj’s 40th birthday party in 2009 I had no idea that it would be a turning point for my life. From the moment Simon arrived we never left each other’s side. I remember looking into his eyes that day and I knew that the time was right for us. He told me recently that at the time he was worried that maybe I was merely ‘settling’ for him because he was there. I replied that I had finally realised that I’d be ‘settling’ with anyone else but him. In the two and a half years we’ve been together, we have spoken every day even when we were separated by thousands of kilometres. These almost three years seems to have vanished as our relationships is easy. We talk about things, we don’t argue. We tell each other when something isn’t working and we fix it, together. We make major decisions together, through discussing the pros and cons, the possibilities and our points of view. We share our home, we share the care of our cats, we nurture and support each other in the day to day of life. We oscillate around each other, we hold hands, we stand close together and I adore when he kisses my forehead.

There have been times when my head has fought against this, believing I wasn’t good enough for him or this love. I pushed Simon away and there are photos from a trip we took last year that I can’t look at for the heartbreak on Simon’s face. He held on, he fights beside me, he tells me that depression lies and I can’t believe anything it tells me. He went into this relationship with his eyes open, not knowing what the hard times would mean but he has never shied away from it. He has my back.

This is the great love story of my life. It underpins all that I do and supports me to fly and grounds me when I need it. I can’t see my life any other way now.

It’s a classic story.

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