Before I left Newcastle, my aunt pointed out to me that the workshops I had taken didn’t really ‘teach’ me anything I didn’t already know. Of course, they provided an environment to experiment and play but I didn’t learn new techniques or anything outside my own expertise. We had a chat about me teaching and she told me in the long line of teachers in my family, I should give up any hope of NOT being a teacher. 🙂
On my 7 hour drive home, I had plenty of time to ponder and come up with ideas and they were flowing. Each time I stopped I filled pages into my notebook with ideas and was very inspired to take things further when I got back home.
And then I walked in the door.
Other people had been hinting to me that my living arrangement with my parents is doing me more harm than good now. I’ve outgrown the need to be cared for so intensely and my creativity and needs are not what their needs are. The true realisation of this hit me full force when I got home on Monday night.
“Hi! How are you? Sorry, you’ll have to wait for the show to finish. My Restaurant Rules is on.”
All of my ideas, my inspiration, my motivation just left me. I tried for a day or two to muster some of that feeling back up, but it’s gone. I can’t even bring myself to open my inspiration journal and do more work on it. My notebook is stuffed somewhere in the bottom of a bag, I think.
I need to get out. I need space. I need support and encouragement.
I don’t need to wait for the ad breaks.