Where you are right now is a difficult place. Everything seems to be in place to hold you back and it is becoming very stressful for you. Please believe me when I say it will get better and soon.
The next twelve months will be about growth, about learning more about who you are and yes, I hate to say it, patience. It is still the biggest lesson you have to learn and until you do you will always be fighting against yourself.
In the next twelve months you will finish your masters program. You will get yourself back into full time employment and yes, you will move out of home again. You will learn how to live the life of a functioning adult and for the first time be true to yourself and learn to enjoy life.
The things that are important to you will be more plentiful and you will enjoy the pleasures of art, music, friends and laughter. You will feel comfortable in your skin and know what makes you happy without compromising who you are. Yes, you will get fit and you will learn to enjoy exercise because it will give you clarity and help you sleep better. You don’t want to believe that sleep is an issue where you are right now but you must get back into your routines in order to be able to handle the times ahead.
Your dreams are there for the taking but you must be ready for them, for the responsibilities, for the changes that they entail. London and Paris are waiting for you but you have to make sure that you are able to cope with being on your own in a foreign country. You have spent the last 21 months in a cocoon and you need to take small steps before you can take the gaint leap to move overseas. Its close but you still have a way to go.
I know it is hard being single. Another Valentines Day with no valentine. As I gaze at the beautiful roses next to me, believe me there will be a better valentines next year. As they say, you need to kiss a few frogs before one turns into a prince. Its hard for you to accept that life hasn’t turned out the way you thought it would. Playing the field hasn’t ever been in your nature and the whole dating thing I know scares you. You can’t hide forever and when you let go of the fears things will get better and the intelligent, witty and cute guy that haunts your dreams will find you. He is just waiting for you to be ready.
I can’t lie and say the next twelve months are going to be easy or smooth sailing. The issues that you have with your family aren’t going to magically disappear. There will always be communication problems and there will always be the personality differences. You know that. But with patience, a bit more give by you and a little more empathy and it will improve enough to get by. Yeah, the feeling when you move out will be awesome so hang in there.
You have come so far, Will. Give yourself the credit that you deserve and stop being so hard on yourself. I know you feel trapped and I know you feel that your life is moving at a snails pace but its for a reason. You keep missing the lessons that you need to learn. When you get that, things will get better I promise.
That tattoo is going to hurt like hell but when you see it for the first time you will know its been worth it. And yeah, your Dad will freak but he’ll cope with it. 🙂
Biodh foighne agat.