After my very exhaustive two weeks I slept in today and thoroughly enjoyed it!
I have now finished and posted the assignment that has plagued me since May when the Queen of Procrastination kicked up a gear. I have agonised over this assignment and the only thing I can put it down to is that it was a literature review and something I had never done before. In the end I had to just do it and hope for the best. As my psychologist pointed out, I had done the required word count and a decent amount of research, therefore I have passed. After the last 2 months, thats the best I can hope for and if its more, well and good. So, with that subject now finished I have four more to complete for this masters degree. I still don’t know when I will do that but all I know is that I will finish it – I haven’t come this far to give it all up now.
So what else have I been doing that equates to finishing things? I’ve been on this momentum of going through things and tidying things up. I found a box of odds and ends with two half completed Sudoku books, so I finished them off and am half way through another one I found. I’m not buying any more until I finish it! I’ve always been a hoarder of cosmetics and creams, so anything out of date has been thrown out and I have a pile of things to use up, again before buying anything new. I’ve been rearranging and cleaning up my room and now that I’ve finished the assignment I’ve packed my uni stuff into a box and put it into storage. I’m actually getting things on my ‘to do’ list done!
I think I mentioned that we were going to a wedding. What I didn’t mention was that it was at the same venue where I got married. I was completely fine leading up to it and doing all the stationary (even using left over paper from my own wedding) and I thought I was going to be able to cope. I did okay right up until we sat down in the dining room and then it hit me. The last time I had been in that room was when I stood there with my new husband, surrounded by family and friends all wishing us well. The memories were bitter and my heart felt broken. I drank too much champagne and spent alot of time outside surrounded by my brother and his mates. I got through it because of them and I’m sure I could have handled it better. Being there was a release from it in a way – from the memories, from that chapter in my life, from him. It can no longer hold me back.
My body has kind of gone into ‘oh that’s all over now! Great! I’m going to give you a cold as revenge for that stress you put me through’ mode and I’m laying low. Once I’ve cleared this bug, I am going back to the gym and I am going to get my fitness up to where it was before and then some. I’m giving myself a rotten food weekend but it will be the last for a long time. There can be no more excuses from Evil Willow. Its time to just do things and get them done.