Tonight I just want to cry myself to sleep.

In the last few weeks I’ve been feeling wonderful. Not manic but real ‘I am feeling good about myself and where I am right now’ wonderful. I’ve never felt this way before. Its a whole new world for me to be okay with myself, to build a buffer around myself where I can make myself feel safe and to be okay with who I am, warts, skeletons and all.

So, why tears? I was watching ‘Centre Stage’ tonight and the sappy love story gets me every time. But what gets me more is that the character of Charlie is just my ‘type’ and when he kisses Jodie at the end, I just want someone to kiss me that way.

I want someone to just hold me. I miss affection and the actual physicalness of someone being near to me. I miss hugs and I miss sweet kisses, tender kisses of someone who truly cares.

One day.


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