My instinct tells me that as each day passes and with each little thing I do, it will all add up to a whole and good will come my way. My head tells me to keep going and things will improve just from the effort I am putting in. Its hard to keep the perspective of the bigger picture when you are caught in the minutiae of life.
Today I had a couple of my mercury amalgam fillings out and I have a few more to go over the coming weeks/months. There are alot of theories abounding about the benefits of removing mercury from your body and I do think that it will be beneficial. A friend mentioned to me last week that a friend of hers was sick for many years and tried everything. It was only after her mercury fillings were removed that she started to improve. I am putting alot of hope (and money) into this but I believe that every little thing will help put that jigsaw puzzle of my life back together.
So with my rather dead mouth I still went to the gym (my trainer was impressed) and then got myself off to the phsyio. I’m taking some sessions in feldenkrais and after just two sessions it is making a difference, more than going to a chiropractor did. Another piece to add into that puzzle.
A couple of my friends have asked me in the last few days when I’m going to visit Sydney again but I am really hesitant right now to venture too far from my security blanket of home. Last year I wanted to visit Sydney all the time and somehow found a way to get back every few weeks. Now I’m worried that I’m going to retreat from the world out of fear of living – of getting caught up in the pace and hussle of the everyday and end up spiraling out of control again. Logically I know that by finding balance and managing all the aspects of my life to where I am comfortable will minimise that. But there is still that voice in the back of my head that isn’t so sure (devil Willow again).
All I can do is take it one step at a time, one day at a time.